We all have a story to tell, how we came to be where we are now. Some may believe that doulas shouldn’t share too much personal information, especially about our own births. But my business ‘Birth in Your Power’ is me, and my own birth and life experiences, which won’t necessarily be the same as yours, have shaped who I am.
When you work with me as your doula, your antenatal educator, your ceremony facilitator or circle guide, you are working with everything that makes me, me (and not someone else.) This is heart led work and all about energy and connection, as well as my personal attributes, skills and experience.
My interest in birth stems way back to when I was at University in the mid-1990s studying Sociology. The majority of the assignments I chose were around gender issues, even my dissertation was about gender representation in computer games – gaming has come a long way since the Tomb Raider and Tekken days! I was never a gamer, but was fascinated by it and the pull it had on my (mainly male) friends at the time.
During one of my courses, I studied a book called the Woman in the Body, by Emily Martin a social anthropologist. It is a little outdated now, but it really opened my eyes to how our society views our bodies as little more than machines and how alienated we have become from our own reproductive forces – and I was maddened by it! I vowed there and then that if I ever had a baby I wouldn’t let anybody treat me that way. Sadly, when it came to it, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I then spent nearly 15 years working in the charity sector, initially in Fundraising and then in qualitative research running focus groups and interviewing people, with a bit of quantitative thrown in here and there for balance. It has always been important to me to use my skills and energy for the benefit of others and this is a thread that runs through all my work. Understanding the mechanincs of leading focus groups has been brilliant for guiding circles and being able to analyse data really helps with understaning clinical research.
I was 43 when ‘Birth in Your Power’ came into being, I had birthed 3 live babies and lost two babies through miscarriages, one early on and one at 12 weeks. I spent a long time thinking about what to call my business and ‘Birth in Your Power’ really represented the journey that I had been on myself.
My first birth initiation was a long 4 day induction at 42 weeks when I was 36. I succumbed to the pressure of being ‘overdue’ and was full of fear about the ‘what ifs’. I thought I had done the right preparation (NCT nope!) and really had no idea what to expect from the induction process and how long it would take. I had done very little mindset work (I didn’t know I had to!) and when labour finally got going, I was exhausted and had little left to give. I came away from that birth feeling bewildered, disconnected from myself, my body and to a certain extent my baby – I was a walking, talking, living ghost for quite some time. I felt short changed. This was not how it was meant to be – surely?!
When I found out I was pregnant again 10 months later (eek!), I had fire in my belly alongside my baby. I was determined to make things different this time. I switched everything up. I changed the hospital and chose a birth centre, worked on my mindset and did pregnancy yoga. I had started to question everything and did my first shamanic drum journey around this time. It was an awakening.
I had the most empowering water birth at 40+13 after a short labour. I couldn’t believe what had just happened and that I could actually do this on my own, without intervention. My body and baby knew exactly what to do! The feeling was immense, I felt like I had climbed the highest mountain and was high fiving the sun. I knew instantly that this is how it is supposed to feel and frustarted that so many of us were being denied this experience.
This is the reason for ‘Birth in Your Power’. I knew that standing in my power, making conscious choices that were right for me and working on my mindset, would give me the best chance at achieving a different outcome. The feeling I had after my healing second birth is everything and that feeling still lives within me 14 years later. Even if my daughter’s birth hadn’t gone that way, I knew the changes I had made wouldn’t leave me feeling as lost as I did the first time. As your doula, I want that for you too.
In 2104, aged 40, I discovered I was pregnant again and we made a life changing move from Southeast London to rural Cornwall. We found the perfect house and 6 weeks later, whilst three months pregnant, we packed up and moved our little family 250 miles away from everything we knew. We’ve never looked back. After a straightforward pregnancy, my son was born at 40+12 at home in our little Cornish hamlet after a 4 hour labour.
Our first births are such a powerful initiation, but I firmly believe that we shouldn’t have to wait till our second or third birth to have an empowered and positive experience. Looking back at the first photos of me after each of those births, I can see a difference in how I look and the oxytocin glow after my second and third births.
I knew nothing about doulas until I moved to Cornwall and met someone who was working as a doula here. It got me thinking, perhaps this is where everything is leading to. The more I understood about the role, the more I thought, this is exactly how I can use my skills to support other people on their birth journey. During the births of my children we really needed someone to to provide us with balanced information so that we could make informed decisions, someone who could help us to explore the inner journey we were making and ultimately someone who was there walking alongside us helping us to navigate the system, whilst offering encouragement and supportive words on the way. However, if I hadn’t had those birth experiences, I wouldn’t be the doula I am today and I am grateful for all the growth opportunities that my journey has given me.
When a friend said ‘you would make a great doula’ that was the final push I needed. Shortly after, I did an introduction course with Olivia Seck from Radiant Mama in Spring 2017 and then in Autumn 2017 did my full residential doula training with Kate Woods and Conscious Birthing.
The rest as they say is history. I am now 9 years in and have supported many, many familes and some of those babies are now old enough to come along to our home education groups. I also now have the honour of being able to mentor new doulas through Conscious Birthing.
We are all on a journey in life and my calling to birth work has been a culmination of all my experiences over the years. It feels very much like coming home to be able to support families through one of their most significant rites of passage in life.
